Read on to learn more about ‘How to Recover your Stressful Relationship’
Your Love Life
Everything feels so much perfect when you find the love of your life.
Love is magical.
It turns a gray word into a colorful one, melts a frozen heart, and turns a frown into a smile.
Nevertheless, nothing lasts forever, something surely will change in the way you and your partner feel somewhere in time.
Some of these changes are caused by problems triggered by factors such as;
- Perception feelings towards your partner
- Contradicting beliefs in politics
If you are wondering about how breakup and divorce come to be, then these factors are the culprits.
It is however up to you and your partner if you will let those assail your relationship or not.
Do you feel guilty because you are the one who made a mistake or do you find it hard to forgive your partner because you were betrayed?
These situations will cloud your mind and heart with confusion, but if you do the right thing in the end, you will not be saddened by the wrong choices you have made.
- Is your relationship currently hanging by a cliff?
- Do you want to hold on to it?
It is not too late. You just need to have a good plan to salvage your relationship that will help you save your love life.
With a good plan, you will be able to make the right choices and keep your life on track.
Before you can start regaining your relationship, you need to come to terms with yourself.
HOW CAN YOU RECOVER FROM YOUR STRESSFUL RELATIONSHIP?
Here are some steps on how to piece things back together and recover your relationship together with the one you love with less stress.
1. Honestly Understanding What The Problems Are
In every relationship, the most common reason why problems or conflicts arise is due to misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings are inevitable, given the fact that people live in an imperfect world.
If you are currently facing problems in a relationship, don’t lose hope because you can still solve them.
The most common mistake people make in a relationship is that instead of facing the problem, they try to escape it.
Well, a problem is a problem and chases you wherever you go. Hence, the wisest way to deal with it is to face it.
A romantic relationship is very complicated. Failure to understand and figure out the root cause of the problem will surely lead to stress, anxiety, breakup, or divorce.
It is very important for at least one, but if possible both partners in the relationship to know how the relationship is supposed to work.
This understanding will provide a relationship with long-term success.
2. Understand the Difference Between both Sexes
Knowing the differences between the sexes is a great key to understanding your relationship.
Of course, there is a huge difference in the physical aspect, but what counts the most are the mental and emotional aspects.
A major differences both partners face in the relationship is the way each solves problems.
Typically, they approach resolution from a different perspective. When women are faced with a certain problem, they open up to other people at great length.
For men, this is something very difficult to understand because they think women like to get down to the heart of the matter concentrating on the problem.
Most men prefer to keep the problem to themselves and think deeply about how they are going to find a resolution to it.
When they have figured out what they think is the best solution, they will begin to discuss the real problem with their friends, along with their solution to it.
This simply shows the difference between a man and a woman when it comes to solving problems can be a great stumbling block.
The man might get fed up with the woman talking about her problem, not knowing that this is her own way of figuring out a solution.
On the contrary, the woman may think that the man is insensitive and uncaring just because he does not talk about it.
Another huge difference in understanding the relationship is that sometimes, women discuss matters they do not want help with or advice about.
They just want to get the burden off their chest.
For men, this may be a strange concept. Most men have a purpose in talking about something.
Basically, when men open up about a certain problem, it is with the intent of solving it.
Men really don’t understand why women want to keep talking about something without doing or saying anything in order to solve it.
In a relationship, this will often happen; the man will listen to whatever the woman says, then instantly propose a resolution to her problem.
He would presume that he has done his part as a partner. Surprisingly to him, the woman says that he does not listen and understand her feelings.
Although this is only a realization and does not really apply in every situation, it is true most of the time.
Most often times, women want to talk about it out loud while men want to keep silent.
The next time you want to respond during a discussion about a certain problem, just listen and try to understand your partner.
By doing so, you will be able to avoid fights and any misunderstandings.
3. Develop Your Communication Skills
Misunderstandings, disagreements, and poor communication skills can be the primary sources of distance and anger.
If well handled through healthy communication, they may be a foundation for better relationships and brighter futures.
So, it is of utmost importance to develop your communication skills.
The following are some ways you can develop your communication skills;
• Stay Focused
Sometimes it might be quite tempting to bring up unrelated problems from the past when dealing with present ones.
This, unfortunately, clouds the real issue and makes searching for a solution to the present issue impossible.
To have healthy communication with your partner, do not bring up the hurts and issues in the past.
Staying focused on the present helps you understand each other better.
• Listen Very Carefully
Most people often think they are listening, but in reality, they are thinking about what to say next in the event that the other person has already stopped talking.
An effective conversation goes both ways.
It may be difficult on your part, but you have to listen to whatever your partner is talking about.
Try to avoid interrupting and don’t be defensive. In doing so, you will just understand him/her better.
• Know Your Partner’s Point of View
In any conflict, you always want to be understood and heard.
You talk about your point of view in order for the other person to see things the way you do.
The ironic thing is that the more you insist on your point of view, the more you are left misunderstood.
If this always happens to you, it is about time to give an end to it.
You should know your partner’s point of view so that he/she will feel heard? In return, your partner will do the same to you.
• Try to React to Criticism with Empathy
It is easy to think and feel that he/she is wrong, so you will get defensive when your partner criticizes you.
It is crucial to listen to the pain of your partner and react with empathy for what they feel. Even when it is something unbearable to hear.
• Admit What’s Yours
Communication is only effective when you learn to admit that you are wrong.
If in a situation where you both share the same responsibility in a problem, you have to admit what is yours.
This will lessen the situation and spur maturity.
Doing so will also inspire your partner to react kindly, so it would help you both to understand each other and to figure out the right solution.
• Search for Compromise
Always bear to remember that healthy communication entails searching for a solution that both parties can be happy with.
Rather than attempting to win an argument, you should search for the right solution that is favorable for both of you.
• Don’t Dare Give Up
Taking a short break from the discussion may be a good idea, you also need to come back to it.
However, make sure that both of you approach the situation with mutual respect, and a constructive attitude to arrive at an ideal solution.
Do not surrender on communication, unless it’s time to surrender on the relationship.
Following some of these tips will help you develop your communication skills and avoid a long and irritating argument with your partner.
4. Learn How To Have A Date Night
Dating is something that must continue even after marriage.
By having a weekly date night, you will be able to rekindle your love for each other and make the relationship grow stronger.
- Don’ts On A Date Night
Your date must be free of any worries.
Your date night should not be considered a business meeting because it won’t be called a date. This special evening should be about romance, friendship, fun, excitement, entertainment, relaxation, and growing closer together.
Planning the date ahead of time is very vital because it will make you and your husband feel loved and honored.
If you both have a busy week, then reschedule the date for the following week.
- Be Kids Again
The best way to enjoy your time together is to be kids again.
Going to the local aquarium or zoo or if you love playing board games and cards, then would be a perfect way for you to enjoy your date night.
- Interview Your Partner
If you or your spouse have been super busy at work in the past few weeks, you can interview each other to discover new things.
To make the interview more fun, draft unusual questions and perform it over appetizers and cocktails. It is very important to ask probing questions and take down notes.
You can use the answers of your spouse in buying him/her a gift that will make him/her surprised and happy.
This is by far one of the best date night ideas that will surely fill your night with laughter.
- Try a Date Night
Date night is a perfect moment for you to rediscover each other. This will help ignite a romantic mood in the place where you intend to hold the date.
If you have not yet tried to bond with your spouse due to your busy schedule at work, then now is the perfect time to start.
By scheduling a date night once a week, your relationship will be healthier and stronger as the years go by. This is the secret to a happy married life. So, why don’t you start planning now?
5. Change Your Negative Mindset
The worst killer of any relationship is no other than your own mind. The moment you start having negative thoughts without any basis, that moment your relationship will come crashing down.
If you always think negatively towards the people around you and your partner, then you may be the problem; not them.
- The Root Cause Of Negative Mindsets
If you always doubt that your partner is cheating or if you always think that he/she will soon dump you, you are becoming unfair to him/ her. You are thinking advanced like you know exactly what will happen in the future.
Are you a fortune-teller? Hey, there is no such thing as fortune-telling in a relationship; it must be all about working hard to establish the future of your relationship. Apart from that, you are secretly accusing him/her.
But what is really the root cause of the negative mindset? These include fear, selfishness, insecurity, doubt, distrust, etc. These the result in unhealthy spiritual and mental health.
Always bear in mind that what your mind can conceive your body can achieve. This means that what you think is what you get.
When you think negatively about your partner, you will be the one to destroy your relationship because you will start to act negatively too. Therefore, it is important to change your negative mindset before it is too late.
- How to Change a Negative Mindset
By living a life that is filled with love, trust, and positivity, you will have the courage to face anything that comes your way. In other words, you must have sound spiritual and Mental Health.
To change a negative mindset, you also need to trust your partner. When he/she tells you that he/she loves you, believe him/her.
Trust is one of the building blocks of a strong relationship. However, make sure that the love and trust you give will always be in balance so that when any unfortunate things happen, you won’t get hurt too much.
Always set aside for yourself, so that no matter what happens, you will still stand strong and whole.
Also, you can change your negative mindset by simply knowing your partner even more. In doing so, you will be able to confirm your doubts or feel ashamed of yourself for accusing him/her of something that he/she does not do.
6. Remember Why You Fell In Love
Challenges in a relationship can either make or break your relationship. whenever you feel like there is no more point to hold on to, you better think twice.
When you are angry make sure not to make any decision because you will surely regret it in the end.
If you both can’t seem to deal with your relationship anymore, try to spend some time away from each other for a while?
This way, you will be able to realize your mistakes and know if you still want your partner in your life.
- Travel Back In Time
A great way to know if your relationship is still worth saving is by remembering the first time you saw your partner and when you fell in love with him/her.
By traveling back in time, there is a great tendency for you to rekindle the love you feel for each other. You will also be able to remember the happy and sad times you have shared and how you were able to get through them.
Apart from that, you should also figure out why you fell in love with your partner. Actually, this will give you confirmation if you still have to hold on and try once again.
Did you fall in love with him/her because of his/her positive attributes, which you think you can never find in anyone anymore?
Did you fall in love with him/her because he/she made you a better person and made you realize that you are special? Did he/she make you feel happier?
After finding answers to these questions, your heart will tell you what the next course of action you should take is.
Remember, always use your mind because it will reprimand your heart the moment it goes out of control.
7. Understand You Can Only Change Yourself
Did you know a relationship itself is not the problem, but the people who are in the relationship?
This is the reason why you should figure out what’s wrong with you and change it. This way, you will be able to save your failing relationship.
- Changing Yourself
Changing yourself is a self-help process. Thus, it is something that others can’t do for you. It is more of a choice, decision, and hard work.
However, this is not what you can do overnight; it requires time, patience, and temperance. To achieve this, you need to come to terms with yourself and admit your mistakes.
Simply put, you need to forget about your pride.
Changing yourself can be a difficult process because you have to think a hundred times before you make any moves.
You may also feel like you are confined in a cage because you are afraid that you might make the same mistakes again.
Note, that this should not be the case. Just like other processes, changing yourself is something that must be done one step at a time. Don’t force yourself because it could lead to self-destruction.
8. Learn How To Be Considerate
Always remember nobody’s perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
In a relationship, you are not always right and your partner is not always wrong.
Both of you are responsible in one way or another if any problem or conflict arises. So, why be considerate of each other? This is a sign of being humble.
9. Seek Professional Help If Needed
With the growing number of lovers breaking up and couples divorcing, your relationship is always at risk of these threats because people are sinners by nature and the world is imperfect.
If you feel like your relationship is already impossible to fix because several things have already happened, don’t give up so easily.
What are relationship experts here for?
Most people who seek the help of a relationship expert consider them as magicians who can make all things right in just one session.
No, it is not like that. In the end, you and your partner will still be the ones to decide to save your relationship or not.
What a relationship expert does is guide you and your partner on how to make the right choices and how to deal with your problems.
So much stress and anxiety can be a major problem arising from an unhealthy relationship.
It is very important to seek solutions early to recover your relationship and preventing it from collapsing or leading to a separation.
Do not hesitate to seek help when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or confused about your relationship.